Words Left Unsaid
by wil-spike-bloodyhell
Summary: Faith reacts to the end of Sunnydale’s existence, and what she never got to say. Takes place after the final scene in S7 "Chosen"


Title: Words Left Unsaid  
  
Author: Wil  
  
Rating: G  
  
Spoilers: Scene immediately following S7 BtVS "Chosen" ending  
  
Summary: Faith reacts to the end of Sunnydale's existence, and what  
  
she never got to say.   
  
Author's Note: Just a scene that popped into my head and wouldn't  
  
let go.  
  
Words Left Unsaid  
  
And once again the world is safe for the innocent, Faith thought as  
  
they stood there looking at the remains of Sunnydale. Something  
  
seemed wrong with it, almost too utopian for comfort. It could have  
  
been that Faith wasn't exactly used to being on the good team, or  
  
maybe it was the look of peace on Buffy's face.  
  
Faith approached Buffy and placed a hand on the blonde's  
  
shoulder, "Hey, B, you okay?"  
  
"I think I am," She answered with a smile as she turned. "We're all  
  
okay."  
  
"Yeah, all of us," Faith mumbled softly. How could Buffy believe  
  
such a huge lie? Anya wasn't okay, neither was Amanda, Molly, or  
  
Spike. They were dead. That was as far from okay as you could get.   
  
There were wounded, there was a big giant hole in more than just the  
  
earth where Sunnydale once stood. Didn't she get that?  
  
Faith'd been there, the second to last out of the cavern. She'd  
  
waited for Buffy and Spike-but she knew Buffy would be the only one  
  
coming out. The huge beacon of sunlight spewing from Spike's chest  
  
was a big clue that he was staying until it all ended, but part of  
  
her felt like she should have done something. Stayed, so he wouldn't  
  
be alone. For a moment, Faith thought that's what Buffy would do.   
  
Yet Buffy had leaped onto the top of the bus, even after Faith saw  
  
the flames that had burned between their entwined hands. She'd heard  
  
Buffy tell Spike she'd loved him, but the rumbling of the collapse  
  
had drowned out everything afterward. How could you tell someone you  
  
love them and let them die alone? Buffy didn't even seem upset.   
  
Now, she was fine, apparently.  
  
"Faith? Faith, we're going now," Xander's voice came from behind her  
  
as she stood at the edge of the crater looking in. She'd been so  
  
lost in thought that she hadn't realized Buffy and the others  
  
wandered off.  
  
Faith held her arms against her protectively, even as she felt the  
  
presence beside her, "Just one more minute, Xand? I'm payin'  
  
respects."  
  
He nodded in understanding as he followed her line of sight, "Mind  
  
if I pay too?"  
  
Shaking her head she doesn't look away from the wreckage, and  
  
swallows, "We're not, no matter what she says."  
  
"Not what?" Xander asks looking completely lost as he glanced at  
  
Faith.  
  
"We're not all okay," She elaborated finally turning to address  
  
him, "I'm sorry it wasn't me."  
  
"You're sorry that you didn't die in that cesspool?" Xander looked  
  
at the dark-haired slayer as intensely as his single eye would  
  
allow, "You fought and you survived, Faith. That's not something you  
  
should ever feel sorry for."  
  
"But what if I could have saved Anya? What if I could have saved any  
  
of them?"  
  
"If you could have, you would have. Anya was on the opposite side of  
  
the building. Spike was the only one who could wear that necklace  
  
thing--- they all knew the odds when they went in."  
  
"But they're still dead, Xander." Faith's eyes were glassy with the  
  
threat of tears. She didn't care anymore who saw the vulnerability,  
  
the weakness she always kept bottled up. "I've done horrible  
  
things. I've killed people. I almost killed you once, and you're  
  
telling me I should be a hero. But they were heros and they're still  
  
dead!"  
  
Xander reached out to take Faith's hand but she fell against him,  
  
beating at his chest, "I should have died! I'm not a hero, I'm  
  
disposable-I wanted to stay with them... I wanted to stay with him.  
  
I loved him!"  
  
"Shh-it's okay, Faith. It's okay to cry," he says holding her in his  
  
arms and rocking with her, as he realized who she was sobbing over.   
  
He held her as he cried too, the tears staining his cheek as he  
  
mourned Anya's loss. He'd loved her, he always would no matter what  
  
had happened between them--she'd been his girl--his amazing demon  
  
girl.  
  
"Please, don't tell Buffy," Faith begged trying to pull herself  
  
together.  
  
"I won't tell anyone if you don't," Xander whispered his  
  
promise, "You and me, Faith, we can be not okay together."  
  
~fin 


End file.
